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 In Search of Babylon: Two, CD Piece
Flex Johnson
 Posted: Aug 11 2017, 10:35 AM

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From: Misha LeCavalier
To: Dr. Ravi

Dear Doctor,

I dont not have many friends in their world; in fact, it would probably be easy to count them all on both of my hands. Ironically enough, of my closest friends happens to be Kelly Fury.

“Why is that ironic?” you might ask.

There are many factors that probably should have halted us from linking up and becoming close. Considering who I was dating at the time of our first hangout session, I’m surprised to two of us escaped with our lives. My ex had ties with her ex in the past—enough said, yeah? It would have been natural for Kelly to harbor ill feelings towards my ex, and my by proxy. However, Kelly was gracious and understanding.

And let us not forgot the fact that Kelly’s current boyfriend and I have never really been on the best of terms. He and his tag team partner were bitter rivals of me and Myung. Many brutal incidents occurred. Many heated words were said. Once again, it was within Kelly’s right to turn her ire towards me.

However, she did not.

Through it all, she and I became quite close. It’s interesting. In my personal life, a lot of people say that I am complex and closed off. Sometimes they aren’t necessarily wrong. And in my professional life, many view me as a barbaric beast.

Nevertheless, Kelly didn’t see me as any of those things. It always seems as if Kelly is able to read me. She always understands me. And most importantly, is treats me as a person.

Hmmmm, I suppose the reason we get along is the same reason Myung and I have grown close. Interesting…

But I digress. Dr. Ravi, you are probably wondering why my friend Kelly is on my mind. Well, my brain keeps thinking back to a conversation that we had last week.

Kelly has a son, a little boy named Jackson. He’s a great bundle of joy, always happy and smiling. Well, it turns out it was his birthday last week. So of course, I asked Kelly to tell him happy birthday for me during one of our many weekly calls. As our conversation moved forward, Kelly told me that little Jackson was quite a fan of mine. For a moment my heart was warmed, and it remained that way for the duration of the call.

However, a sinking feeling washed over me after the call ended.

“Am I a good person?” I’ve asked myself that question countless times. I’ve possed that same question to you many times as well, Dr. Ravi.

My father and mother would tell me yes. My sister would tell me yes. The few close friends that I do have would tell me yes.

...I’m not sure I’d agree with them.

I don’t deserve to have any fans. And most days, I don’t believe that I deserve friends like Kelly either.

Does a truly good person enjoy getting physical and engaging in fights? Does a truly good person find great pleasure in hurting others? Would a truly good person be willing to slaughter an entire roster in order to get to the top?

No is the answer to all of those questions.

—Now yes, perhaps I’m being a bit narrow minded. Life isn’t lived in black and white, no matter how many people may want it to be so. Life is but a myriad of gray tones. Given that notion, I may not be the epitome of all evil—but I am no saint either. I am but a convoluted concoction…

While that revelation isn’t the most satisfying in the world, it is followed by a sense of calming peace.

At the very least, I am able to somewhat understand just who and what I am...for now.

—Misha LeCavalier

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