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 Family Vacation(3/5): Golf and a Gaffe
Seth Iser
 Posted: Jun 24 2018, 11:37 AM

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By the time the next day’s rolled around, Allison’s excited to head out! It’ll be her first time playing mini golf and - even though she’s read a couple of books about it before and played some video games based around golfing - she’s not sure what to expect when she gets out there. But part of the adventure’s having new experiences, and making memories that’ll last a lifetime. When you consider her excitement, there’s no surprise that she’s the first one out of the car when they arrive; she’s already buzzing as she leads the way to the entrance.

“Hey, this is cool!” she announces, staring up at the main entrance - which is shaped like a castle, with a little flag that says “Minigolf” flapping in the gentle breeze. An enthused Allison looks over her shoulder and flashes her pearly white smile to Rebecca and her dad before calling out: “Come on, I’ll race you there!”

The elder Iser does not have the same level of excitement reciprocated. In fact, the opposite is there as he has a sense of dread as he slowly opens the car and lets out a grunt. A couple of bad memories of his own popping into his brain. He’s doing his best to hide the scowl on his face but as soon as he sees the entrance it’s like reopening an old wound in some ways and you can see the color on his face drain slightly. It’s something he can’t entirely hide.

“Damn it…” he mutters.

Rebecca watches Allison rushing off with a smile, but soon she spots the look on Seth’s face and loses her smirk. Concerned, she gently takes his hand and steps in front of him so that he comes to a stop.

“Hey, are you alright?” she questions. She follows his line of sight and notices he is looking at the entrance. Then it dawns on her, the conversation they had following last night’s dinner. She puts the pieces together and looks back to him. “This is that same mini golf course… Isn’t it?”

“You would be correct…” Iser confirms with a nod to boot. He makes eye contact with Rebecca and well...he’s not going to hide what happened at this point since they are here, “You remember the amount of times I’ve said when I was young...I was a fucking idiot?”

Rebecca shakes her head slightly while she gazes back at him.

“Not something I like to hear you call yourself… But I do remember you saying that, yes.”

“Long story mentor, and I had some down time after a show and stopped here. We had no this was the only time I ever took shrooms in my life…”
Iser winces

The color on his face isn’t coming back after that wince either as he remembers this part...needless to say it was more than a bad trip. Rebecca’s jaw slacks ever so slightly when she hears what he says, and the reaction he has to his own words. She herself has no idea what these drugs do to one’s mind.

“I had no clue,” she stutters out her comforting reply, her grip on his hand loosening a little from the stunning revelation.

“Shrooms can make you see things you weren’t normally going to. This could be really good or really bad I guess.” Iser blinks a couple of times before sighing, “It wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t just a bad psychedelic attack and I just hallucinated something bad. You’d think the dinosaur on the course was actually real and wanted to eat you for example…”

Iser again cringes knowing that from memory while his girlfriend watches and listens on silently. She wants to say something comforting, but how can you find the words to say when you are completely clueless about the topic at hand?

“But that wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was when I was coming down off of all of that...I found Noish passed out almost drowning himself. Turned out he ODed on pain pills. We had to go to the hospital and I had to watch him get detoxed from that...and needless to say watching that while I was coming down off of that feeling? Never felt so paranoid in my life...and turned out I almost lost him that day.”

Iser’s tone gets a little lower as a frown is etched on his face. Rebecca’s fingers lace Seth’s as she squeezes his hand.

“Lost him later in life though...because of that demon…” Seth’s voice is wounded and sad, “We also got fired for this incident when the promotion we were working at found out…but we probably deserved to be fired earlier than that.”

“Babe, I am so sorry…” Rebecca whispers with tear-filled eyes. What is supposed to be the best vacation ever is off to a banner start by visiting the site where this traumatic series of events took place. Still squeezing his hand, she wipes away a stray tear that is rolling down her cheek with her other hand. “Are you going to be alright to go in there? We can do something else if this is too much… I am sure Allison would understand…”

“She’s already set out on it…” Iser’s face starts to show a little more color, “I’d have to face various things in my past sooner or later anyway. Can’t run from what you have done forever or put it off either.”

“I will be right by your side the entire time,” she reminds him with a kiss on the cheek. “We can face it together.”

“Thank you…” the elder Iser’s face lights up returning more to normal before he breaks eye contact to see Allison has sprinted off ahead, “Well damn...better go catch up to her before she gets lost.”

The bright-eyed teen’s already inside, looking over the different putters that are up for selection; so many choices! How does one choose which one’s the perfect fit for them? She taps her index finger on her chin beneath her pursed lips, thoroughly examining each club… that’s when she has the idea to speak to the woman at the counter!

“Hey, pardon me, ma’am?” she politely addresses the elderly woman, who looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here. “My name’s Allison. I’m a beginner golfer.” She shakes her head and corrects herself, ticking each point off with her fingers. “Well, I’ve read books about golf, played golf games, watched it on TV… I dunno if any of that counts as golfing experience…”

The woman’s scowl is enough to indicate that what little patience she had has definitely worn thin; so, Allison quickly gets to the point.

“I’m wondering which of these finely crafted putters you’d recommend for someone of my age bracket and skill level.”

“They’re all the same,” the woman coldly responds. Allison scrunches her nose up, looking between the woman and the clubs suspended on the wall.

“But… each one’s a different colour and size..?”


“It makes no logical sense for you to tell me they’re all the same when they’re clearly not…”

The woman’s had enough. She breathes a droning sigh as she produces a growl: “Listen kid. I don’t get paid enough for this. Do you want a putter or not?”

“She does…” Iser’s voice comes in with an air of intimidation to it knowing she’s being unprofessional to his daughter and with that comes one of those absolutely deadly looking scowls that have spelled doom for many different wrestlers. The woman glares back at him, not appreciating the interruption; they’re locked in probably the most awkward and intense staring contest in history.

“You really should watch your tone too.” Seth glares, “Otherwise I’m sure your superiors wouldn’t like that. Not to mention...if that happens you go from not being paid enough to no pay at all. I heard your conversation where you disrespected my kid the entire way.”

“Huh,” the woman snorts, unphased by his threat. She goes back to clicking away at her computer, like she had been when Allison walked in - but not before giving one more snide comment out the side of her mouth: “Who knew hobos raised such ill-mannered children.”

“Who knew prestigious places employed elder entitled degenerates…” Iser rolls his eyes.

“Babe, let me handle this…” Rebecca cuts in before this conversation turns real nasty. She kindly hands the coupon over the counter with her sweetest fake smile… As much as she would like to rip this woman’s head off for being so rude and disrespectful she knows that is not the solution. “We would like to play one round of nine holes. Please.”

She barely even looks at the coupon before declaring: “This is expired.”

Frustrated, Rebecca is done with playing it nice. She slams her fist on the desk as an intimidation tactic.

“Listen here you old hag…” she hisses. “First you are going to apologize to my boyfriend and his daughter for disrespecting them. Then you are going to honour this coupon and we are going to enjoy a nice relaxing round of mini golf on this vacation, because if you don’t… My souvenir from this trip is going to be that rag you wear on your head to hide the fact you are bald. Got it?”

The woman’s clearly rattled now, and hastily apologises for her behaviour.

“And the coupon expires in JULY of this year. We’re in JUNE.” Iser sneers, “Either educate your dumbass self or get a pair of glasses that don’t see bullshit.”

Without a word in response, she processes the coupon and lets them in. Allison, holding her newly-acquired putter by her side, bows to the woman as a sign of gratitude before making her way to the course. Rebecca offers no such acknowledgement as she passes, and Iser ends up grabbing his own putter but not before shooting an absolute death glare at that woman before muttering in Japanese.

“Kutabare…” Iser’s face is twisted into something filled with hatred toward her, “Kuso Kurae.”

Allison’s first out on the course, ready to take on the first hole. She sets her ball up on the tee and sizes up the obstacles on this carpeted hole; nothing too tricky, just a couple of blocks that narrow the space between the tee and the hole. Seems simple enough. Giving the ball a little tap, she quickly discovers more power’s gonna be needed - it barely makes it halfway there before slowly rolling to a stop.

“Oops,” she tells herself. “Gonna have to give it a bit more oomph next time…”

“Remember that it isn’t like Wii Golf…” the elder Iser replies with a teasing smile, to which his daughter looks back and giggles. As angry as Seth was...he’s putting on his best face for his kid right now. Rebecca is still fuming over that old bitch’s attitude, though she too is trying all she can to force it into the back of her mind right now.

Allison’s next swing has a little too much “oomph” to it - it goes sailing well over the boundaries of the mini course, and she watches with bated breath, praying it doesn’t hit someone walking by. Luckily, it harmlessly bounces off the path across the way a couple of times before plopping into the lake. Seth just blinks twice at the whole too much ‘oomph’ that he just witnessed before shaking his head slightly.

“I think that’s a stroke penalty…” he says dryly before he marches over to retrieve the ball.

“I didn’t know we were playing serious yet!” she gasps. “I thought this was the warm up!”

“Don’t think they warm up in golf.” Iser replies with a straight face as he picks up the drowning golf ball, “But that’s three so far counting the penalty.”

Rebecca’s frown slowly morphs into a smile while she silently watches from the sidelines. She had concerns for Seth’s emotional state of mind being here, especially after that encounter moments ago. But to her relief it seems he is alright. Seth ends up putting the ball back where it was before Allison decided to show off her strength and whack it into the next dimension of golf holes.

“Why don’t you show us how it’s done, dad?” She keenly steps aside to give him the floor.

With a shrug Seth reaches into his pocket to pull out his purple golf ball to go to where you start. He has the golf club that’s really a little too short for him but it’s the largest size available before he just has laser like focus...before he makes his own swing. It’s a good one as it sails through...and through the narrow gap...but he hits it just a little too hard and it bounces off the hole and off to the side.

“Damn it.” Iser mutters, “Should’ve had that one.”

“Harder than it looks, isn’t it?” Allison teases playfully.

“I think this club is too small…” Seth replies with half of a smile of his own.

His daughter’s quick to respond with: “Oh, but they’re all the same, remember?” It is enough to get a snicker out of Rebecca.

“They need new staff!” the elder Iser then declares. Allison notices Rebecca’s been uncharacteristically quiet, so she spins around and motions to the tee.

“Do you wanna take your turn now?” she offers.

“Oh, I couldn’t…” Rebecca waves it off.

While those two begin conversing Seth had snuck over to his purple ball and gently taps it into the hole for a score of two. He’s still muttering to himself a little about both not getting it done faster AND another reminder that the woman they dealt with was a complete and utter cunt to humanity. Or as his caretaker once put it...a stain on the underwear of life. He just picks up his purple ball from the hole.

“Two.” he calmly declares.

“It’s fun!” Allison tries to coach Rebecca into taking a turn, even going so far as to tug on the base of her shirt a little to etch her to where the ball’s already waiting. Reluctant, yet completely persuaded by the method she is being convinced, Rebecca decides she will try her hand at it.

Clueless in just how to correctly hold the club, she fumbles with it before she taps the ball. She is not able to get a clean shot on it and the ball bounces off the top edge of the head, rebounds off the wall and basically goes nowhere.

“Told you I am no good at this…” she drones.

“Hang on…” Seth notices his girlfriend’s comical swing but he keeps a straight face entirely before walking over toward her, “It’s all follow through and wrist.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Rebecca groans, frustrated that she could not be a natural. Aside from wrestling she has not even considered picking up a sport in her lifetime. He might as well be speaking a foreign language to her right now, she may understand that before understanding his explanation of the technique.

A part of Seth is tempted to try to explain this in Japanese too but that would be cruelty personified. But he was a multi sport athlete in high school before he picked up wrestling so he does understand the gist of what’s going on.

“Take a breath. You’re okay.” he coaches calmly before he shows her how he holds the club with both hands with the right hand lower than the left just for more control, “I’m right handed so I hold it like this.”

She mimics his hold and shrugs, assuming she is doing it correctly. Seth just gets behind Rebecca and gently moves her right hand up slightly so that her hands are also touching because the damn club is too small.

“And this is what I mean by wrist follow through…” he calmly coaches as if he’s coached an athlete many times.

Seth ends up doing that follow through motion with Rebecca’s wrists gently so she’s not rattled by too much force. She watches the ball roll along the carpet much smoother and accurately than it did before.

“Like that but a little more force depending on the situation. Just takes time and practice.” he shrugs, “Not like I’m a pro though…”

“Could have fooled me,” she plays it up to stroke his ego. She turns to face him and smiles. “You are a pretty good teacher you know.”

“I think I have a better student…” Seth smiles in return before kissing his girlfriend on the cheek, which has her blushing bright red. “I didn’t even make my High School Golf team you know…”

“Too busy being a stud in every other sport, I bet,” she teases. Allison’s not too keen on seeing them being all lovey-dovey, so she moves onto the next hole to try her luck there. Rebecca’s thoughts quickly shift away from flirty and back to what the significance of this place is, and her body language must be reflective of this as she fidgets with her putter a little. It is something that is going to plague her brain this entire time. Seth ends up catching onto the shift in her body language.

“Let’s...try to enjoy the rest of the day though…” he does calmly ask, “I wouldn’t be facing this as strongly if it weren’t for you two here anyway.”

The three spend the rest of the holes enjoying the occasional outburst from Seth when he has horrendous luck with hitting the ball into the water so much so that he declares that he hates water for the day. His scores per hole are either really good(when there isn’t water) or really bad(when there is water) but that’s where his aggression backfires. It evens out to an average score. For a complete novice Rebecca is actually quite good, with her patience being an asset to her. While it does take her more strokes she avoids going out of bounds for a decent score.

Allison’s score, though, is pretty abysmal. She keeps falling into the same habit of thinking each shot through a little too much and psyching herself out. While the sun’s setting in the evening sky, her dad and Rebecca have already finished their games as Allison’s battling the final hole; the windmill. She watches the blades spin across the little hole where the ball’s gotta travel through, accounting for everything from putting surface to wind resistance, she takes the shot… bounces right off the blade and ends up almost in the starting position. She clenches the putter in her angry little fists while she gears up to try again.

“Who does that remind you of…” Seth whispers to Rebecca quietly with an amused smirk on his face.

“I was about to say that,” she states as she watches as well. “She is like a mini version of you. It is so adorable.”

“That’s my girl…” he says still with that smirk, “That’s my girl…”

“She hasn’t quite inherited your trademark temper though,” Rebecca makes an observation as she playfully nudges him.

One stroke… that’s all she has left to complete the hole. She’s gotta pass the windmill and get it straight in the hole to avoid stroking out; a tall order, sure, but not impossible. Taking a deep, calming breath, she makes a beautiful shot that has the ball sailing past the windmill…

...but rounding the hole on the other side before coming to a stop several inches away from it. Her elation turns to frustration as she stomps over, taking several axe swings at the ball in a fury.

“WHY WON’T YOU GO IN THE FRIGGIN’ HOLE!?” she screams in a fit of rage, before dropping the club down beside her. “Baka,” she mutters as she strolls away from the scene.

“You were saying?” Seth turns to his girlfriend, who is kind of in shock that sweet little Allison could be capable of such an outburst. “She doesn’t have near the outbursts I do but it’s there.”

“Mhm, no kidding…”

With that Seth approaches his angry daughter and he does put his hand on her shoulder briefly to get her attention since she might be in her own world of anger considering the outburst she just had.

“Hey kiddo...take a breath.” he coaches, “You’re okay. There will be a next time you will do better. It happens. I understand being angry that things didn’t go your way.”

One deep, cleansing breath later, and…

“I’m okay… just had to get that outta my system.”

“I think we both understand that…” the elder Iser has an amused smile on his face, “I’m just happy you didn’t do what I did at that age and try to hit someone with the golf club…”

Seth then pauses for a moment glancing at Rebecca really quick before turning back to his daughter.

“Let’s go get something to eat. And well...just promise me you won’t yell at the food like you yelled at the golf ball.”

Rebecca is keen to eat some food as she remembers she has not eating much of anything all day… The popcorn and hot dogs they have on offer here are not something she is interested in consuming. Seth’s stomach is also growling considering he didn’t partake in those two things either. Too much salt and hot dogs are pretty damn disgusting. A little embarrassed by her exploding temper, Allison bows her head with red cheeks and modestly nods. “Yes, dad,” she mumbles.

The trio soon exit on their way to get food with Seth giving a middle finger salute and more Japanese profanity to the evil old woman who gave them grief earlier today. And on their adventure continues in Virginia Beach.
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